Wednesday, January 19, 2011
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About Me
- John McManamy
- I am an award-winning author and mental health journalist. I have been writing about mood disorders since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1999, ranging from a website, an email newsletter, a book, articles for HealthCentral, and this blog. More recently, I have been producing videos. Writing about my illness has played a very strong role in my healing and recovery. Writing allows me to come to terms with my past, gives meaning to my present, and gives me the courage to face the future with hope.
thank you so much
ReplyDeleteThank you. My son started having episodes of severe anger at a very young age. Even his preschool teachers said he had definite differences of mood. He went to "The Lucy Daniels Center for early childhood" instead of kindergarten. He stopped sleeping at 18 mos. old. He only slept around 4 hours a night until a Neuropscychiatrist suggested Meletonin, which actually helps. He was diagnosed with early onset Bipolar at the University of North Carolina during a study a few years ago. He is now 12. I still hate the diagnosis and occasionaly research to see if by chance it is something else. He still fits the criteria. He's on Equetro now, but is stil having difficulty with anger. It seems he's never happy anymore. This episode has lasted so long. We see a Physicians Assist. at Triangle Neuro Psych. He gives us the medicine, but no other real advice. I have the "Bipolar Child" it helped, but I am despirate to find something more, that can help us through this. Your article reminded me how difficult this must be for him and has moved me to continue looking for help.
ReplyDeleteThanks again,
Frances
I am not bi-polar, but seem to end up with those who are. I am a knowledge driving female who is successful in my own right with a house, car, job, wonderful child... but relationships have not been easy for me.. for I don't fit it. It is not because I am bi-polar though, it is because I am educated in many ways of life and like to practice positive outlooks and ways of life. I meet the man of my dreams, right? Well, he is still the man of my dreams, but for the 1st, 6 months he told me I would see "the other side of him" even though he didn't want me to... now it has been only 8 months and he has lost most of his tenderness, isn't open to my knowledge much anymore, gets or seems to get upset at me because he has these expectations in ME...that he is not voicing. In turn, he gets mad because I didn't do what he expected, therefore, I am partial blame to fuel any anger he may be harboring.. For the past 2 months, he has shown increasing anger FOR ME... instead of communicating what he wants, he gets mad at me.. he acts out and has even told me "FU"... now, I AM NEVER to stand for ANYONE to speak those words to me, especially when I KNOW I don't deserve it and I haven't said anything cross or called him names... when he did this, he got strike 1 in my own personal book..regardless of his inability to cope. That was a couple weeks ago. Since then, it is pretty steady, he gets mad at me or shows anger for small (fixable) things... I usually do my best to bring him back to good mindset..but it is very HARD on me to suffer the anger getting to the better mind set. He is always apologetic and says he is working on it..gives me the greatest of faith and hope as you said in other articles (I read bunches, thanks). Again, though it is hard for even the most compassionate person and I have put my foot down and told him that if he doesn't stop showing this anger FOR ME... the consequences are going to appear sooner or later. It is one thing to be angered (in my perception) as opposed to being angered AT YOUR loved one...
ReplyDeleteI am at a loss as to is it bi-polar or IS HE ABLE TO LOOK INTO HIMSELF and pull out of this.. I don't know how to tell except by giving doctors a lot of money... and he has no insurance. I am going to continue reading your page though, it has helped me greatly. If you have any words of advice, please share. I love this man and know he is the one, but his anger is getting worse...
I have loved and lived with a fellow manic-depressive. Even that combo doesn't work. I have given up on being loved by another person. It is too tall an order.
ReplyDeleteI am bipolar and positive my eight y/o daughter is as well - this article is describing her perfectly. Many thanks, you are helping to lead the way.
ReplyDeleteI am a teenage girl and i think there is something wrong with me. My mom and I have never seen eye to eye; however, recently, she has had to speak to me about my attitude. I am an A student who takes AP classes and I thought most people liked me. My mother has started saying that I have a bad attitude, that I basically drive people away, and that I come off as scary. My mother is in the medical field and just the other day, she said something that made me feel like I had something wrong with me. Something wrong with me in the mental way. There are somethings that I do that Can't help. I am short with people, angry, and irrational at times. I have anxiety attacks at random times and have a very low self-esteem. My sister has severe anxiety problems, my father has anger issues, and I beleiev that my Grandmother suffers from Depression. I just want to know how to find out if I do have something. I just want to know. I am too scared to ask my mother because when I have tried to mention panick attacks before, she just shrugs it off and says that her and my sister have worse ones. I just some help. I want to know if this is how a normal teenager feels or if it is something weird. I have researched for days now and I think I might have Dysthymia. But, once again, I am not sure.
ReplyDeleteHi I am a Mom who suffers from genetic bi-polar and both my girls have it as well. They are both over achievers in their fields and started showing signs of the diesease preteens and I sought help then. I am not a medical professional and do not know where you live in the world but where we are there are people you can reach out to discuss all that you have mentioned. Can you try that first. Dont be scared just reach out as there is help out there. From a mom perspective, your mom might be scared just as I was but she is your mom and she will love and stand by you no matter what. I wish you well and will say a special pray for you
DeleteI'm another who lives walking on eggshells. Every tear is interpreted as a sign of suicidal ideation; every loud laugh is a mania brewing. I'm just someone with emotions, like everybody else. Maybe I experience even more variability and diversity than the general population. That's just the nature of the bipolar beast. I want to be myself and not have my husband (or anyone else for that matter) rush to call 911 because I have feelings. Are my meds supposed to eradicate what is essential and me, myself?
ReplyDeleteI'm sick of being blamed for being bipolar. My husband criticizes me for "putting him through" this and that. Well, he knew from our second date that I'm bipolar for starters. Then there's the fact that I'm very rarely out of what is considered "normal". I am so medicated to the gills that I hardly ever deviate from "normal". I'm the most stable person I know, and also the one with reason to be the least stable. He just doesn't know what it's like to live with and love someone else, period.
I love him and will do almost anything to make him happy. However, this constant criticism is getting to me. It's not my fault that I was born with this horrible disorder. I didn't choose it!!! I take my meds, I go to therapy, I practice yoga, I meditate, I take it easy, etc. My life is good and calm. Calm, that is, except for my interactions with him.
Prior to meeting him my life was dull and pretty much nothing. I was still in the phase of getting well, of getting past the shock of my dad's suicide. Now that I am well and can stand up for myself, I feel that I could live a life on my own. I'm starting to get sick of being treated badly. I wonder how I can reach out to him and help him to understand and reform.
Maybe reform isn't possible, but I'm trying. I believe in the sanctity of my marriage vows (even though I made them when I was rather manic).
John, you have really opened my eyes about a lot of things and I cannot thank you enough for everything. I will apply all that you have shared with us and try very hard to change my life around. You did a video about this, please direct me to it. Thanks
ReplyDeleteIt takes one to know one. I have been professionally diagnosed as b-polar. For years I took meds but nothing really seemed to do the trick. I'm currently flying sans parachute. I got married in 2006 to a woman who I know is also (at least) bi-bolar if not more. Her moods are insane and I can set my watch by them as to when she's going to crash and burn. Generally, she's in an okay mood but on occasion she'll get in a super good, almost adolescent state of mind - cracking childish jokes, laughing, giggling etc., at which point I know that the storm is on it's way. Her temper is absolutely disgusting and it doesn't matter who's around when the $hit hits the fan. Our children (2) have witnessed her extreme bad temper on several occasions now and I fear how it influences them. She says horrible things to them and myself. She NEVER apologizes. Ever! I've recommended that she seek help but she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her plus, she's anti-drugs. Won't even take aspirin.
ReplyDeleteAll the time we've been together, I've been very compassionate and understanding, mostly because I know what she's going through however, my temper is non-existent compared to hers. Our discussions are always a one way street. She'll never entertain my opinions and if I persist, she ends the conversation and leaves the room, remaining in a "bad mood" for 24 hours whereby she'll not talk a word of anything to anyone. These discussions are not negative by any means. I do not say things to her that are mean, or disruptive. By all accounts, they are discussions any normal couple would entertain on a regular basis. The only things she'll discuss are things that she's in control of and that center on herself i.e.: her work (with limits), shopping, things she would like to do. There are never any discussions about me or how I am. Not even small talk about my interests, or experiences. She can talk about herself for hours, as long as I do not comment outside of the beige . . . "Oh, that's nice".
I almost tend to believe that her behavior is borderline sociopath, or anti-social. I feel like I'm living in a glass house. I have to consider everything I say and do beforehand to avoid a blowout.
My compassion is never acknowledged and she'll always accuse me of not understanding her. I don't know what to do. We really need help and I have no one to talk to about it. I've always been of the firm belief that we keep our dirty laundry in the closet. I won't talk about this with friends or family (although she's convinced I do). I too, believe in the sanctity of marriage and for our children's sake especially, would not consider dissolving the marriage.