"Anonymous" because I do not know how to be any of the other selections... I have fought inner demons and outer malevolent forces since age 13. Have had suicidal cravings "treated" with talk therapies for 40 years including Primal, Cognitive, Rational, mind/body work, and so on, only to become more self-conscious of my failure to thrive. I am already blotted out of my family history with my aunt with same disorders. Pills and more pills, lots of warnings about evil psychiatry, diagnosis of major depression, now new mental illness labels, and finally officially disabled via bi-polar with PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder added to my permanent record for an outburst at the low income clinic that I needed help that helped. At age 60 I came across Aboriginal methods for healing traumatic wounds and the anger that lives in them. The visceral pain did leave of its own will, it let go of me. The depression and rages remained. Now I found Byron Katie's method for facing Reality very useful to stop some rip tides forming and yet I am still drowning in agitation and agony. Night Falls Faster. I longed for a room, a dog, and isolation - the old Rest Cure of b & W movies. All feels lost, I am shunned by my family, career is gone, do not want to start over again with new doctors and same old treatment. For this pain, why no Opiates? Marijuana worked for me years ago but I cannot find any. Only Big Pharma products allowed and that is not helping. I am soon to be a grandmother and so cannot go to the kitchen for euthanasia, not even the kindness extended to dogs allowed me. Just suffer on, stay out of jail, take the pills, and now a hip ready to break. When I was a writer this would have been really funny material. The local NAMI chapter president killed herself a month ago, no one will talk about it, only that she lost her battle. I offer her blessings every night. Why the shame? Why no hospice for my fatal disease? The treatment seems as insane as this insanity. Lucid time is up. I admire your wittiness and word play, sir.
Hi. Love your articles. Could you please fix the link to Mindfulness - it is broken and I'd really like to read it.
Also, how can one communicate with you? I'm a journalist/editor (not in the mental health field though) who has bipolar depression as well and would really love to talk/chat with you.
I am an award-winning author and mental health journalist. I have been writing about mood disorders since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1999, ranging from a website, an email newsletter, a book, articles for HealthCentral, and this blog. More recently, I have been producing videos.
Writing about my illness has played a very strong role in my healing and recovery. Writing allows me to come to terms with my past, gives meaning to my present, and gives me the courage to face the future with hope.
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"Anonymous" because I do not know how to be any of the other selections...
ReplyDeleteI have fought inner demons and outer malevolent forces since age 13. Have had suicidal cravings "treated" with talk therapies for 40 years including Primal, Cognitive, Rational, mind/body work, and so on, only to become more self-conscious of my failure to thrive. I am already blotted out of my family history with my aunt with same disorders. Pills and more pills, lots of warnings about evil psychiatry, diagnosis of major depression, now new mental illness labels, and finally officially disabled via bi-polar with PTSD, and Borderline Personality Disorder added to my permanent record for an outburst at the low income clinic that I needed help that helped.
At age 60 I came across Aboriginal methods for healing traumatic wounds and the anger that lives in them. The visceral pain did leave of its own will, it let go of me. The depression and rages remained. Now I found Byron Katie's method for facing Reality very useful to stop some rip tides forming and yet I am still drowning in agitation and agony. Night Falls Faster.
I longed for a room, a dog, and isolation - the old Rest Cure of b & W movies. All feels lost, I am shunned by my family, career is gone, do not want to start over again with new doctors and same old treatment. For this pain, why no Opiates? Marijuana worked for me years ago but I cannot find any. Only Big Pharma products allowed and that is not helping. I am soon to be a grandmother and so cannot go to the kitchen for euthanasia, not even the kindness extended to dogs allowed me. Just suffer on, stay out of jail, take the pills, and now a hip ready to break. When I was a writer this would have been really funny material. The local NAMI chapter president killed herself a month ago, no one will talk about it, only that she lost her battle. I offer her blessings every night. Why the shame? Why no hospice for my fatal disease? The treatment seems as insane as this insanity. Lucid time is up.
I admire your wittiness and word play, sir.
Hi. Love your articles. Could you please fix the link to Mindfulness - it is broken and I'd really like to read it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, how can one communicate with you? I'm a journalist/editor (not in the mental health field though) who has bipolar depression as well and would really love to talk/chat with you.